


Like the stars, I'll always be there

by artitoke



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Earth, Angst, Cutting, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Depression, Earth AU, Hurt/Comfort, I was kind of high when i wrote this, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Marijuana, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, One Shot, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Harm, Smoking, Sobbing, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, klance, lots of sobbing, mention of suicide, stoner keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artitoke/pseuds/artitoke
Summary: While Lance probably had his own ways of coping with his emotions, Keith had one method in particular that always seemed to work the most. After both his parents died, If at any time he felt down or alone, he'd walk outside and look up at the stars. As you stare up at the sky above you, remember that whatever you do, wherever you go, the stars will always be there looking down at you, even if you can't see them. A silly piece of advice, but a comforting thought all the same.(aka Lance is having a rough night so Keith takes him for a drive to take his mind off things)





	

_God_ his eyes were heavy. Almost so much so that they felt painful, like there was two strong weights attached to both his eye lids. It didn't help that the lighting in his room was dim and his bangs kept falling into his eyes. He lost count of this around five or so, and soon he grew tired of brushing them out of the way.

Eventually, Keith grumbled to himself and dropped his pencil. He knew he needed to study much more, but with the time well past midnight and his motivation to actually get a good grade on his quiz the following Monday out the window hours ago, Keith decided the effort just wasn't worth it.

He yawned as he stood from his desk chair, flipping off his desk light as his chair rolled away from him. He was far too exhausted to bother pushing it back under his desk. He'd have to move it later on when his half-awake self trips over it later on the next morning.

Walking over to his bed, Keith dropped his cell phone on the nightstand and plugged it in before plopping down on the bed with a sigh of content. He didn't even bother to crawl under the blankets, this was comfy enough all on it's own. With that, his eyes drifted shut, one last content sigh escaped his lips. He embraced sweet with a warm embrace before suddenly he was yanked away from it's grasp.

His eyes shot open irritably as his cell phone vibrated loudly on the wooden table. With a groan, Keith propped himself on his elbows, reaching over and grabbing the device. He squinted to shield his eyes from the bright light his screen emitted in an attempt to read the message he received. Once he made out "Lance" on the screen, he was suddenly wide awake.

Something had to be wrong. That was the first thought to come to the boys head given the time of night. Upon opening the message, Keith gave a soft sigh.  
  
_[Text] Lance: Depression is back_

Keith sat up in his bed with a scratch to the back of his neck before he jutted out a response.  
  
_[Text] Lance: Depression is back_

_{Text] Keith: Is it bad?_  
  
Keith had grown used to receive vent texts and phone calls from his significant other at this time of night. Only here recently, though, has he been receiving them far too often than Keith was comfortable with. It was very clear to Keith that he hadn't been coping as well as he used to be. If Lance were to call or text him once every week or so several months ago, it had quickly added up to three, maybe even four times in given week. At least he seemed happy before. Even if that had only been a mask, that only meant that he was too weak to even bother with a disguise now.  
  
_[Text] Lance: It's been dark today._

_[Text] Keith: You okay?_

_[Text] Lance: Not at all..._  
  
Keith let out another sigh as he swung his feet over the side of bed. He always hated for Lance to be alone when he was like this. Unfortunately, Keith had something one would call an overactive imagination that was prone to fearing the worst possible scenario. Lance didn't exactly have a clean record when it came to mental illness and self-injury. He'd been hospitalized several times before for such actions. While he's been great these last few months, it didn't ease Keith's mind to much. It was only natural for him to be worried for him.

Keith quickly tapped out a response.  
  
_[Text] Keith: It's bad..._

_[Text] Keith: Wanna go for a drive?_

_[Text] Keith: Windows down, music up?_

_[Text] Lance: Yes_  
  
Lance's reply was brief and vague, but Keith knew him well enough to know that this meant 'Come here now.' Keith didn't bother to respond, throwing on some cloths and slipping on his shoes before he hurried out of his home without even tying his boots. If Lance knew Keith half as well as Keith knew _him_ , he'd know that Keith lack of a reply had meant 'Omw'.

Keith hadn't taken his time driving to Lance's home. Even when he had arrived in front of his front door, his mind hadn't been eased. Lance had been standing at the edge of the sidewalk when he pulled up. Usually, Keith would be forced to shoot Lance a text and wait for him to gather his things before he walked out the door. Lance didn't even carry an overnight bag this time. In fact, the boy was still dress in his pajamas. He wore old sneakers that he'd thrown on last minute as well as grabbed his cell phone, but of coarse that was everything he had on him.

Lance got into the passenger seat quietly, only muttering a small "Thanks." before glancing back down into his lap, anxiously twiddling his thumbs and picking at his nails. His hands were shaking faints in his face, Keith had been able to note this before he pulled away from the house. It was fairly obvious to see that Lance just wanted to get far away from here, no matter where that place may be.

Keith since replied with a nod before the vehicle had driven away. His brief pause had made it obvious to the both of them that Keith was scrambling to think of a proper conversation topic. Then again, Keith hadn't the slightest idea what was going on in Lance's head. Did he just want to sit in silence? Or could he use cheering up? Keith began to take his chances on the second option just to be safe.

"So you're day was rough, yeah?" Keith began with a small clearing of his throat. "Mine wasn't the best either. Here's a piece of advise; Never work in retail. _Ever_. I had to hold myself back from strangling like 8 people to day. I swear, people are such idiots."

Lance only responded with silence. He hadn't been affected by Keith's words at all, his gaze still locked on the floor board underneath his feet. Keith only took it as a queue to continue attempting to take his find off whatever may have been troubling him

"I had three people try to return the same "broken flashlight" and I had to explain to each of them how they've got to put batteries in the damn thing first." Keith grumbled, hoping he wasn't making the awkward tension between them even worse by ranting about his _own_ problems. "Like... crack open a manual for once in your life, right?"

Lance didn't respond, didn't even react. It was as if Lance hadn't even acknowledged his presence in the vehicle. He was clearly focused on other things.

"Heh... I heard this funny joke today though." Keith continued somewhat awkwardly, hoping that cracking a joke or two would trigger some sort of response from the other. He continued to glance back and forth between Lance and the road ahead as he proceeded.

"When does a detective carry an umbrella? When he's undercover." Keith forced out a tiny, though clearly exaggerated chuckle from his throat before he glanced over at Lance once more. "Get it? Because he's-... Lance?"

Keith froze when he noticed the tears flowing strongly down his cheeks, causing the street lights to reflect off of his smooth, tan skin. He quickly reached over to grab Lance's hand. He didn't know why he expected that to work, he had been awful at jokes from the moment he could speak.

"Please don't cry..." Keith urged Lance, giving his hand a small squeeze. He wanted to lean over and smother the other boy with hugs and kisses, but was unable to do so behind the wheel. It was only when Keith says this that Lance seems to snap out of the trance he's in. Quickly, Lance moved his hands up to his face, wiping his cheeks free of tears with his sleeve.

"I'm sorry..." He apologized with a sad smile. "...Didn't mean for you to make the trip here only for me to have a breakdown in your truck."

Keith hadn't responded for just a moment, only as he was dwelling on a sudden idea that he knew would lift Lance's spirits, even if it was only for a short time. "Hey, babe..." He began, glancing over at him for a brief moment. "Do you wanna drive out to our spot?"

By their spot, Keith had been referring to the spot they'd first met. The two of them had possessed the same idea that the clearing in the trees on the side of the mountain, over looking the city was the _perfect_ spot to relax when you wanted to be alone. That was until they both arrived at the same time. That had since then made it a treat for the two of them to drive out to what was now _their_ spot.

Lance didn't waste a moment to nod. Keith obediently complied, pressing his foot down on the gas petal and speeding down the empty street. 

 

* * *

 

They two of them hadn't driven out to the nearly uninhabited piece of land for a good while but the directions to take them their were still very much stamped into Keith's brain. Both of them had been lost in their thoughts so deeply that the nearly twenty minute drive felt as if it had sped by in as little as only five. Neither of them could complain.

Keith slowly pulled the truck into the small patch of land that lacked of vegetation, the gentle sound of dirt and gravel crackling underneath the tires. As soon as he shut off the car engine and shut off the headlights, the two of them were enveloped in nothing but gentle cricket chirps and a beautiful view of the city in the distance before them. A small hum emitted from the engine as it attempted to cool down.

Keith had let out a soft sigh, gently breaking the silence between them. "So... There's some blankets and pillows in the back seat. Want to lay in the trunk?"

For the first time since Lance had entered the truck, Lance shot a quick, genuine smile. "Yeah." He replied, a small glisten of excitement in his eyes. The very thought of laying in the bed of the truck and staring up at the sky gave him the feeling of nostalgia, as well as memories of camping out as a child.

Keith hoped out of the truck, _almost_ as excitedly as Lance had before grabbing an arm full of blankets from the back seat. Lance helped the other out by grabbing all the pillows his arms could carry. Even then, it was clear that Keith had over packed for the occasion.

Keith tossed in the arm full of blankets over the side before lowering the door, revealing a twin sized mattress. Lance gave Keith a look of disbelief, knowing Keith had went above and beyond to sneak his own mattress out of the house. All because of him no less. He appreciated that Keith had made all this effort, but couldn't help but feel guilty at the same time.

It had only taken the two of them a couple of minutes to set up their little nest, both of them crawling comfortably underneath the blankets. They snuggle close together, both sharing a moment of bliss in each other's company before tension slowly rose to the air once more. One glance in Lance direction had told Keith that the silence was working against him. He was thinking about things he shouldn't be. Keith was silent for just a moment longer before an idea came to his mind.

"Hey," Keith looks back to Lance with a small frown. "Think you could use something to take the edge off?"

If Lance hadn't known Keith better, he wouldn't know just what the _hell_ kind of drug he was referring to. If it were anyone else, Lance could be getting a Xanax for all he knew. Though, wondering what Keith could possibly be suggesting, Lance gave him a hesitant nod. "Sure, I guess so..."

With a nod and a small grin, Keith stood up and hopped out onto the ground before he began to dig around in the glove box on the passenger side of the truck. Curiously, Lance propped himself up on his elbows, glancing back into the truck as he watched Keith at work. His eyebrow rose when Keith pulled out a tiny, metal box, but he quickly laid back down when Keith began to head back, pretending any evidence that he'd been watching him didn't exist.

Keith hoped back in with a sigh, plopping down on the mattress. Lance's eyes were glued to the box in his lap, watching Keith's pale, slender fingers snap open the lock and lift the lid. Lance's curiosity was quickly replaced with anxiety when his eyes laid upon the bowl and the tiny sandwich baggy of marijuana that sat inside the box.

"Really, Keith...?  _Drugs..._?"

"It's not drugs." Keith retorted, pulling the piece of glass out of the box, as well as a lighter from his pocket. "It's just weed."

"I told you before. I'm not smoking that stuff." Lance replied with a grumpy looking pout as he crossed his arms and averted his gaze.

Keith sighed, digging around in the bag and grinding the herbs between his finger as he lacked a proper grinder. "I thought you'd say that." He told him, slowly and carefully packing the bowl. "I won't force you. But it'd definitely make you feel better."

At this point, the point that Lance would usually continue to protest, warning Keith of dangers that didn't exist and the legal consequences if he were to get caught, Lance had instead replied with a nod. This had actually surprised Keith, which caused him to ask,

"You're sure you want to? You really don't have to."

"I want to." Lance replied, sitting up on the mattress with his knees against his chest. If Keith was right and it did it's job as he said it would, then he was more than willing to give it a try. He needed a much deserved break, if only for tonight at least.

Keith only nodded in response, inwardly giddy that Lance had finally agreed in partaking with him, but he forced himself to stay calm. After packing the bowl well, Keith held the mouthpiece to his lips and faced Lance. "Okay. I'll show you how to do it. Just watch me."

Keith ignited the lighter and tilted it up to the bowl, holding his thumb over the hole on the side. "You cover this end here and breath in when you light it." He demonstrated by holding the flame to the grass and inhaling at the same time.

After a moment, he pulled the lighter away and lifted his thumb off the carburetor. He inhaled for a couple more seconds, emptying the chamber of smoke before pulling the pipe away. "Hold it for a second." He instructed him in a strained tone as he fought against the burning sensation in his chest. After a moment, just as he said, he exhaled, blowing out a cloud of smoke and only coughing lightly a couple of times.

"And that's all there is to it." Keith handed him the bowl. "Here, take a hit while it's still lit."

With a nod of his head and only a moment of hesitation, Lance took the pipe, holding his thumb over the hole as he'd been instructed and inhaling. He had completely underestimated it's strength, inhaling far too sharply and deeply before he was forced to cough as smoke pooled out from his mouth. He had dropped the bowl, luckily having it land on the mattress as he hacked and coughed violently into his hands.

Keith shot him a grin and rubbed the other's back. "Yeah, be careful. It can do that to you." He told him with a chuckle. "You don't have to inhale that hard. Just breath in like you normal would, nice and easy."

Lance had tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to catch his breath, all while fighting the urge to vomit. "C-Christ..." Lance wheezed, still coughing in between breaths as he attempted to recover. "Ughh... It tastes terrible. I-I need a drink."

Keith figured he'd ask, handing Lance a bottle of water out of the cooler that he always left in his trunk. Lance graciously accepted, gulping down half of the liquid inside in only a few big swigs, pulling it away to gasp for breath after a moment.

"Keep that close to you. You're going to need to drink lots of water."

Lance took Keith's advice without so much as a second thought. In the midst of Lance's recovery, Keith had taken a couple more hits from the device himself. He handed the pipe back to Lance after his third hit, in case he decided he wanted another.

"Want to give it another try?" Keith offered him.

Lance quickly shook his head. "God, no." He grumbled, finishing the remainder of his water in less than two minutes after he had relieved it. Keith chuckled. Knowing he'd had his fill himself, Keith took a moment to put everything away, back into his little box and sitting the contents aside.

The two of them and laid silently on their backs for several moments, staring up at the stars contently. Everything about this moment was absolutely perfect, at least in Keith's eyes. It felt like a dream. Laying underneath the stars with the one he loved, a nice buzz and the warm, night air on his skin. Keith lifted his head after another moment, glancing over at Lance.

"Feeling it yet?" He asked him, unsure if a single hit would even affect the other.

Lance blinked his heavy eyelids a couple of times before responding.

"Yeah... Definitely..." He replied, his tone sort of distant as he continued to stare up into the night sky. Slowly, Lance absentmindedly touched his thumbs to each of his fingers on both hands, almost as if he was learning to move again. One choker alone could definitely be enough to get you stoned, especially to someone who's green and have never smoked a day in their lives.

Keith grinned softly as he moved his gaze back up towards the night sky. "Relaxed?"

Lance nodded slowly before letting out a soft huff and sticking his arms out from underneath the blanket. "It's hot." He mumbled.

"Then take off your jacket." Keith commented in return.

"No." Lance replied quickly, very clearly trying to get the subject changed as soon as possible.

Keith tilted his head and rolled over onto his side to face the other. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

Keith stared ahead at Lance for several moments, not even blinking once.

" _Why not_?" he repeated.

"Why won't you just _drop it_?" Lance retorted in a defensive tone. It was then that Keith suspicion had made themselves known. If what he suspected was true, then he had no choice but to confront him.

"Lance. Show me your arms."

Lance immediately freezes up at the comment. Keith sighed when he realized he had hit the nail right on the head.

Lance didn't even bother to protest, knowing very well that he'd been caught. To refuse now would only be digging his grave even deeper. Reluctantly, Lance finally sat up, slowly sliding his arms out of the sleeves of his jacket. He didn't hold them out, though, not until Keith had grabbed both his wrists and gently lifted them up to see for himself.

His heart sank when he caught sight of fresh cuts that littered Lance's forearms, resting along side several white lines from cuts that had been inflicted and healed up long ago. Keith frowned, gently rubbing his finger tips over the rough surface of his scabs.

"Lance..." Keith began, only to be cut off by Lance when he pressed a finger against his lips.

"Don't..." He insisted. "I know... I was clean for so _fucking_ long too..."

Keith gave Lance a look of both sympathy and concern. "Talk to me, Lance..."

Lance only looked back down into his lap, guilt overtaking him at the very thought of Keith feeling bad for him. He cursed himself inwardly that he had been so obvious, that he'd let it slip and let Keith see.

" _Lance_." Keith urged, reaching over and gripping his hand tight.

" _Okay_... Okay." Lance finally gave in with a shaky sighed, lifting his hand to his lips to nibble at the tips of his fingernails. "... Depression's just a real bitch, you know?"

Keith intertwined his fingers with Lance, sitting back and allowing him to continue.

"I haven't had a good day in weeks..." Lance mumbled. "My meds aren't doing a thing for me anymore either... It doesn't help that my dad insists on being a jerk every chance he gets. If I get another lecture about my sexuality or my lack of faith _one more time_ , I might kill myself."

"Don't even joke about that." Keith told him, nudging harshly in the side with his elbow. He didn't even react.

"... I really don't know If it's a joke or not anymore." Lance admitted his expression saddening as he stared down at the worn out knees of his pant legs.

Keith squeezed Lance's hand harder, both frightened and concern for his significant other. As much of a history, Lance had with self injury, he hadn't once tried to take his own life. Keith wouldn't put it past him, though. It was something he's always been frightened of; Losing Lance.

"Lance..."

"I mean, why not?" Lance continued, his voice beginning to waver as he spoke to no one in particular. "I just want to give up... I'm tired of trying, Keith... I'm _so_ tired of trying..."

Keith expression softened quickly when tears returned to Lance's eyes, flowing down his cheeks as tiny sobs began to escape the other. Keith didn't waste another moment before he wrapped his arms around Lance's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. Lance was quick to relax into Keith's touch, leaning into his body as he buried his face into Keith's shoulder. His not-so-subtle cries were absorbed by Keith's shirt, muffling the sound.

It broke Keith's heart to see Lance cry. The Lance he first met was always cheerful and full of energy. He always seemed so happy and joked every chance he got. If Keith concentrated hard enough, he could just faintly remember the last happy, carefree night he spent with Lance. That had been well over a year ago, before this damned condition latched onto him, before it began to feed on every ounce of serotonin in his brain.

"Lance, look at me." Keith requested after a moment, pulling away and tilting his chin up towards him. Lance reluctantly returned his gaze, silent tears still falling from his eyes.  
  
"You're incredible, okay?" Keith began, already beginning to sense frustration from Keith, but choosing to ignore it. It was something that needed to be said. "You're strong, you're determined, god, you're so _damned_ stubborn! No matter how much you've wanted to quit, you haven't. You keep fighting... That takes a lot of guts."

Lance was only able to calm himself for a moment longer. When Keith began to ramble, tears filled his eyes once more and he found himself sobbing in Keith's arms once again.  
"Not to mention the people you'd leave behind... If anything happened to you, you're family would be devastated. Your dad even... _I_ would be devastated..."

Lance doubted Keith's words, but deep down, he still appreciated the intention behind it. It was hard to believe the world wouldn't be better off without him if he were to disappear, but he couldn't say a word about it. His tears left him unable.

It wasn't too much longer that Lance had cried himself out, his soft, thin frame resting limp in Keith's arms. Keith didn't dare move, wanting nothing more than for Lance to rest, to forget this terrible day and put it behind him. Perhaps, Keith hoped, tomorrow would be a better day.

Keith didn't remember when exactly he'd fallen asleep. He was just aware that he'd spent at least several minutes, observing the sky and making constellations in his mind like a game of connect-the-dots before he drifted off to sleep just as well.

While Lance probably had his own ways of coping with his emotions, Keith had one method in particular that always seemed to stick out the most. After both his parents died, If ever, at any time, he felt down or alone, he'd walk outside and look up at the stars. As you stare up at the sky above you, keep in mind that whatever you do, where ever you go, the stars will always be there looking down at you, even if you can't see them. A silly piece of advice, but a comforting thought nonetheless.

Glancing over at Lance one last time before he dosed off, he gave him a soft kiss on the forehead and closed his eyes.


End file.
